I got infected first

It’s true. My wife and I were once very comfortable with our life. Sure, we had our complaints but we knew we were on track in our template life.

That is until I got laid off. Then everything changed. It was during one of many encouraging phone calls with friends that someone suggested I read the Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss.

Little did I know that book carried an incurable virus that would infect me forever.

While I feared my wife might not be as quick to discard a life’s worth of beliefs just because some book with palm trees and a hammock on the cover said so, it was too late for me.

How the conversation did NOT go

Me: Honey, I’ve been reading this book and I think there is a better way to do life.
Her: Great! What’ve ya got?
Me: I want us to quit our jobs, sell everything, uproot our children, and travel the world.
Her: [Stunned silence]
Me: It’s ok! I want to pursue the lifestyle design mentality as we leverage the benefits of geoarbitrage while living in developing countries.
Her: [More silence as a single tear rolls down her face]
Me: Everything will be awesome! We can live off of the money I’m going to make from my muse.
Her: [On the phone with her parents] COME GET ME RIGHT NOW! You were right…he IS crazy!

Thankfully, this scenario never occurred. (Also, my in-laws love me!)

The actual conversation didn’t happen all at once

Had I been single, I’m sure I WOULD have quit my job and immediately traveled the world. But, unlike a lot of the more prominent members of the lifestyle design community, I’m married with small children. Leaving immediately was not a valid option.

The conversation would take time. Too fast and I risked associating this dream with craziness; too slow and I would go crazy.

The year long conversation

It started subtly.

At first I talked about this “crazy book” I was reading. “This crazy book is smart,” I would say, “but so unconventional!” I praised these new ideas while acknowledging how bizarre they might seem.

I spoke of loving travel and spending time with our kids. Who doesn’t like that? We commiserated over our inability to do much of either.

I became bolder. Late one night, I told her, “I want to start a business and be an entrepreneur.” I was deathly afraid she would think I was quitting my new job and sending us all to the poor house. That was not my goal.

Her response was amazing! Setting down her magazine, she looked up at me, “I always figured you would. That doesn’t scare me.”

BAM! Talk about supportive! She had way more faith in me at this point than I did in myself. She is truly the most amazing woman I know!

The small talk

Over the next few months I began to incorporate the “finer points” of lifestyle design in my daily speech. I spoke of geoarbitrage and muses. Of remote work and freelancing. I told her that there were people ACTUALLY living like this. Some even had families! I had found them on the internet.

It became an ongoing conversation monologue on my part as she took it all in.

The big talk

We were driving; that’s where all the important conversations happen. Grandma was babysitting so we could actually talk.

I remember thinking “today is the day”. I addressed the fact that we might have subtle differences in the details of longterm plans. She responded that she knew I wanted to travel a lot and would eventually like to work from home. She showed no fear so far. (Remember, we’d been conversing I’d been monologuing about this for a full year.)

I asked, “Do you know how much I want to travel?”

She paused as she formulated an answer. Then, “Just that it is important to you.”

I decided to go for it.

This is basically what I said:

I need to know what you think about something.

Please don’t think I’m crazy…but I’m at the point where I’m willing to sell everything we own to have the life we dream of. My goal is to transition to working remotely which would allow us to live anywhere in the world that has an internet connection. I believe that we can make enough money for us to live an amazing life where we could spend our life together with our children. I want to do all the stuff that I’ve been talking about for the past year.

This is my dream.

There it was.

I’d laid it all out on the line. My big dream. I was afraid if it got shot down, I’d fall apart and just start weeping. That’s how much I had invested emotionally up to that point.

It didn’t get shot down

We are still working on the details and there are a lot of unknowns, but it didn’t get shot down. This is not something we can leave for tomorrow.

But it won’t be years from now either.

We are doing this for each other and our children. This is our heroic destiny.

For those who love us but think we are crazy: We love you! While we aren’t looking for negative criticism, we would love to talk about this with you. We know there will be questions, we ask that you please keep an open mind.

To those who are already living this life: We desperately want need your encouragement and support! Thank you!