ai iz en yur computur talking 2 ur friendz (source: oskay)
The digital age
I have a desktop computer in my living room. Multiple internet facing devices are connected to our TV. I carry a laptop with me throughout the house. In my pocket is a computer that just happens to make phone calls. At work I sit in front of, you guessed it, a computer. And I would love to install a touchscreen computer in my kitchen (to start with…but more places after that).
And let’s not forget that I eventually want some type of tablet computer for centralized interaction and controlling all of the other computers. (One computer to rule them all!)
My wife could care less about all of these points of digital interaction. Here are some examples:
- My wife is willing to turn off lights by hand; I want a computer to allow me to control, schedule, and track usage of every light in the house.
- My wife keeps asking me why I’d want a computer in the kitchen; I keep telling her I don’t understand the question
- She is fine with having only one computer (preferably a laptop); I want to be plugged into the Matrix.
But, regardless of what extreme you find yourself, there is no denying we live in a digital age.
Feeling skeptical? Well consider the fact that you ARE reading this online, aren’t you.
The experts were wrong
I remember when the experts were warning us of a dark and lonely future. A future where people retreated to their homes and did not interact with each other because they were too concerned with their computer.
Little did we know that the computer would allow us to maintain, restore, and even build relationships.
For those of you who may not be at the level of wanting to install a touchscreen with webcam in every room of the house, I’ve put together a high level list of some of the tools I’ve used to build meaningful relationships online. I would be surprised if there are any you haven’t heard about.
1. Facebook
Yes, yes! You already know about Facebook. Many of you will identify with my experience.
I personally have been able to connect with people that I otherwise would never have heard from again. My group of friends (not counting family) includes people I’ve known for over 3 decades! That is amazing to me.
And yes, you are right. There is no way to maintain super close relationships with all of those people. However (and this is important), I am able to maintain close relationships with a few that otherwise I would not have been able to. Because of our online interaction, our face to face meetups are much richer since we get to see the daily details that have occurred since our last meeting. You Facebook-aholics know this to be true.
For me: Facebook is great for maintaining and building upon existing relationships.
2. Twitter
While many people know of Twitter’s existence, I’m still surprised at how few of my friends use it. Most of my connections on Twitter tend to be more serious in their communication. In addition, I’ve met most of my Twitter friends THROUGH Twitter, as opposed to “real life” or other venue.
I’m going to assume you already have a Facebook account if Twitter is even a consideration. For those of you who don’t know what to do with Twitter, I recommend at least getting an account and linking it up to your Facebook. I did this for the first year and saw a dramatic increase in my Twitter AND Facebook interactions. Very rewarding!
The biggest benefit for me with Twitter is the new relationships that I have gained. People on Twitter tend to be more focused (probably due to the 140 character limit) and have developed reputations around their area of focus. This is great if you are looking to start a business. There is an endless supply of support, help, and knowledge wanting to be heard.
For me: Twitter is great for starting new relationships with people of like interests.
3. Blogging
I know that this site is still in its infancy. But I’ve been blogging for about 8 years in some form or fashion, even if it was not as focused as this site’s message. Blogging was great though in that people were able to come and test me out for a while before initiating an interaction. This almost always meant that we would hit it off fairly quickly. I have started many relationships with people that I met as commenters; I’m excited to say that this is already happening here too!
It also allows people I already know to see a side of me that face to face interactions don’t always allow. Few people are willing to sit and let me rant non-stop on a topic if they are sitting there in my presence. A blog though, allows someone to get a good feel for my personality without feeling overwhelmed by my talking.
For me: Blogging is great for bringing depth to existing relationships as well as starting new friendships with a higher rate of long term success.
4. Email
I know, I know. Most people will probably laugh at this one.
However, with the increase of social networks and fast interactions, receiving a personal email means more now than it probably did even a few years ago. While I still get warm fuzzies when people contact me on Facebook or Twitter, I often feel more appreciated when receiving a personal (read: not spam) email from people.
In addition, if someone contacts me from having found my email on a blog or social network site, I tend to value that person more because they have chosen to send something to me!
Email is to social media as snail-mail is to email (i.e. more personal).
For me: Email I receive causes me to give greater priority to the person sending it.
5. Text messages
I am not a big fan of talking on the phone for long periods of time. I abhor having to check my voicemail in the event that I’ve missed a call. In fact, my wife has only left 1 voicemail on my personal number in the entire time she’s known me. When I explained to her early on that I only check voicemail every few weeks or so, she decided to switch to text messages.
Now those I can get on board with!
I love that text messages are precise (like Twitter) and can be sent/received with very little effort at all. I interact with people more via text messaging than I ever do through the speaking portion of my phone.
For me: Text messages allow more frequent and focused conversations. (PSA – Don’t text while driving!)
6. Meeting face to face
This is still important. I am still drawn to meet in person with people I know…even if we met online originally! Offer me the chance to get coffee (or something more exciting) and I’m probably going to take you up on it.
Never let the abundance of tools stand in your way of getting away from the digital realm and talking to people in person. This is truly the best way to let someone know that you value them!
For me: I consider this to be the highest form of interaction and it gives me the greatest joy!
Certainly, these tools and others like them are the best way to avoid ending up in that dark and lonely future that the experts were certain was coming.
Which of these tools do you use? Have you developed relationships that you made online? How have social media platforms allowed you to strengthen existing relationships?