The taboo topic of lifestyle design and religion

Read time: 5-6 minutes

Fear? Who me?
I struggle with some fear as I write this post.

I think I may alienate two very different groups of people with a single article. On one hand, I think “If I show show my real personality to Group A, they’re going to pick up a bunch of stones and throw them at me.” Ouch!

On the other hand, my thought is “If I confess my belief in Group A, then Group B is going to ridicule me, look down on me, and never come back.”

The problem is, I care deeply about both groups and have a foot in each camp. But I possess traits that could turn each one off.

Oh, and the topic of religion wouldn’t even be a blog post had I not already (in week 2!!!) started getting questions about it from numerous people.

Lifestyle Design and Religion
Perhaps I have erroneously picked up a vibe from a few individuals and associated it with a larger group. Or perhaps it actually IS the climate of that larger group. Either way, I feel like much of the lifestyle design literature has been written as if looking down upon the religious communities, be they Christian, Muslim, etc.

For example, the most recent post on one of my favorite blogs Untemplater.com (click here) makes the following statements:

A lot of times when you go to untemplate…your life, your people…may be the very ones holding you back.

…Doing this really boxes you in. Subscribing to a religion, tradition or any established train of thought can have the same effect. It’s not freeing at all.

The goal of the article was not to bash religion, but I feel that it cast it in a negative light.

Truth is, I agree that religion can hold you back, I just don’t think that’s always a bad thing. No one thinks it’s bad to be held back from jumping without a parachute or bungee from the top of a tall building. Sometimes restraint is a good thing.

This is not a religious blog
You should know that I don’t intend for my blog to be a religious platform nor do I intend to preach my beliefs on gods or deities.  I despise when people play the “God Card” to try and get a leg up with religious communities, even if it is the particular community I happen to belong to.

However, I figured I would respond to questions received from both the religious and non-religious communities regarding where I stand.

What do I believe?
Some may say that this question is no one’s business but my own.

Oh well.

Truth is, I love talking about people, beliefs, and religion so I enjoy questions like this. I’m just surprised that the questions are coming up at all. (Can’t help but be curious as to what I wrote that spawned them.)

To answer, my religious beliefs can be summed up by these three sentences (the first one being the most dear to me):

1. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God
2. I believe that I am to love God with everything that I have (mind, strength, time, resources, etc)
3. I believe that I am to love others as strongly as I love myself (which is a lot!)

These beliefs guide my life as I have interpreted them and applied them as best as I know how. God is THE most important thing to me, then my wife, and then my children. (Thankfully these things compliment each other so it is not an either/or situation.)

However, everything else falls way below those three things.

But wait, there’s more!
Don’t leave yet! I feel it is important for you to know a bit more.

You should know that my group of close friends includes not just Christians but Muslims, Agnostics, Atheists, Baha’i, and Hindu. I’m not just listing out religions I know of, those groups represent actual people I know and love and I’m thankful that they count me as their friend! I had two best men in my wedding: one Christian and the other Atheist. Those men are both extremely important to me despite their religious differences.

Also not normally associated with Christianity, many of my very best friends are homosexuals and heterosexuals who regularly engage in premarital sex. I still keep close company with these typically “not churchy” friends and love them very much! Their friendships enrich my life.

I’ve also kept company with murderers (yes really), thieves, liars, gossips, and even (gasp!) politicians. Thankfully, they’ve been willing to keep company with me.

Sure, there are differences in what all of these people believe. I respect their beliefs and know how important they are to them. Besides, why on earth would I try and hold people to my standards if they don’t agree with them? What kind of an ass would I have to be to do that?!

But most importantly, I believe that Jesus was around people like this too and loved them. (I actually think he was around the religious people only a tiny fraction of the time.)

And when you apply item #3 from above, I can’t help but be around these people. I find that I truly love them and want the best for them too. I believe in these things so strongly that if this aspect of my life were to alienate me from the Christian community (and it absolutely has at times), I’d still do it.

But it’s not just the company that I keep that’s a contrast
It’s me too.

There are three sort of unspoken behavioral rules that Christendom promotes to fit in. I break them all.

1. No Drinking: I drink often and always have a few bottles of wine at the house at least.
   • This rule is funny to me since Jesus’ first miracle was to turn six big jugs of water into wine…and not the other way around.
   • And don’t try and tell me it was just grape juice! No one calls grape juice “the good stuff”.
2. No Smoking: I’ve smoked cigarettes on occasion, though mostly socially.
   • For some reason I’ve always thought it looks cool to point with a cigarette in your hand. Weird, I know.
3. No Swearing: This one’s a biggie in the realm of Christendom and is probably my biggest fear to share with other Christians! I swear all the time. I’m talking on a daily basis with the big words here! Think words that start with ‘F’ and ‘S’.
   1. I don’t use the “eff word” around my wife or her family out of pure respect as they don’t like it, which is why I’m not actually writing it here…they read this.

(I’ve always thought these were odd rules anyways. Guess they are just easier to evaluate to see if someone is “one of us”.)

Want more “contradictions?

• I read tons of books on marketing, lifestyle design, self improvement, finance, and business. I also read the Bible and am working on memorizing the book of Proverbs.
• I pray daily. I also swear daily, even in church or WHILE praying sometimes.
• I’m patient in the weirdest of circumstances. I also lose my temper in traffic and have even let ‘the finger’ fly this past week.
• I follow the Dalai Lama on Twitter but not my own preacher. (FYI: I also follow the entire cast of Community.)
• I consider myself to be a saint, a priest, and an heir to a kingdom (yes, I’m absolutely serious). I also know that I’m a sinner, a hypocrite, and a big mess too.

Honestly though, if you know me well enough, you probably already knew all of those things. Well, maybe not the “memorizing Proverbs” thing; I’ve kept that pretty quiet.

My two fears

1. Fear #1 is that the Christians I know will freak out and judge me because I freely admit that I do all of these things typically looked down upon by our subculture…especially since I have no real intention of stopping them just because they are considered ‘scandalous’.
2. Fear #2 is that I’m afraid the movers and shakers of the lifestyle design community will discount me based on my adherence to an ancient belief system, or worse yet, think that I am judging all of them based on those beliefs.

And these fears are why I’m writing this post.

The advice I gave in my post two weeks ago regarding the “what if” questions was to  act against your fear and do the things you are afraid of.

In an effort to be transparent and honest (or at least follow my own advice), I give you this post.

I refuse to live my life in fear.

The conclusion about lifestyle design and religion
I believe that pursuing the un-template life is a testament to the adventurous spirit of my God and that it honors Him. I believe that I am living out the “made in His image” part of my beliefs by chasing after a life where my loved ones matter more than my fears or security or some stupid template that everyone else is following!

I believe that living mindlessly is a sin as it wastes the precious gift of life. I believe that I am trying to be more like my Jesus by telling others about the freedom I have found in all the areas where I have found it.

I believe that there will be people that disagree with or judge me.

I believe their opinions won’t change my beliefs.

Be kind with the comments. This is one post that I will delete what is said if people are ugly regarding other’s beliefs.

God bless!